The First Day
by Diane Klepper
Summary: Tom thinks about his life on his first day on Voyager.


The First Day  
  
By Diane Klepper  
  
(Author's Note: I've been inspired by watching the first season of Star Trek: Voyager on D.V.D. Tom's first day on Voyager. Cole Paris is taken from The Stargazer novels, which says he is Owen's little brother. Some information is taken from the Pathways novel written by Jeri Taylor. This is the first part of my new series called "Voyager: The First Year." Set before the Caretaker takes them to the Delta Quadrant. If you want more please send feedback. )  
  
The door to the empty cabin opened, Tom Paris slowly walked into the room At the sound of the door closing behind him Tom jumped and then shook his head. Relax, he told himself. You're not in the penal colony anymore. You don't have to worry about someone hiding behind a door getting ready to jump you.  
  
Tom walked over to the couch and put down the duffel bag he was carrying. He looked at the room and gave himself a little smirk. This cabin was twice the size of his prison cell in New Zealand. Paris you lucked out, Tom told himself. He half expected Janeway to stick him in the brig for the next two weeks.  
  
Tom opened his duffel bag and took out his few remaining possessions. Most of his clothes and personal possessions were left behind on Chakotay's ship when he left on his one mission for the Maquis. He did have a set of civilian clothes that his sister Kathleen had sent him in prison but he really didn't need clothes because the penal colony provided him with coveralls and underwear for his daily use. He then took out a padd that contained some letters from his mother and sisters, some family photographs and a number of novels, which included his favorite, Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea. He really appreciated that Kathleen sent him a care packages that contained letters from home and some of his favorite foods. Even though he told her and Moira not to visit him in New Zealand, he was still happy that they kept in contact with him. Tom always felt close to his sisters and he knew they would be there for him when he got out of the penal colony.  
  
He tried not to think too much about his parents. Tom had not had any contact with his father since the day he was cashiered out of Starfleet. His Mother did visit him about two weeks ago. He was upset that she came to see him, but part of him was happy that she still loved him and had faith that he could make something about his life when he was released.. When she made him promise that he would fly again he couldn't say no to her. Tom gave a little smirk and wondered if this reprieve from prison was the start of him rebuilding his life. "Yeah right", he said to himself, "like Captain Janeway would let me anywhere near the flight controls for this mission. She probably can't wait until she can drop me back off at New Zealand."  
  
Tom picked up the padd and then turned it on and said "Begin recording"  
  
Personal Log: Tom Paris  
  
I still can't believe I'm on a Federation starship again. After Caldik Prime, I've never though I would ever step foot on a Starfleet vessel again. The flight from Auckland to Deep Space Nine brought back my last memories of being on a Starfleet shuttle…Of course at the time my hands and feet were in restraints and I had a very unpleasant security guard behind my back who was watching my like a hawk. I think he would of loved it if I tried to escape so he would have an excuse to shoot me with his phaser.  
  
I guess I can't really blame him. Since my confession about the accident most of the Starfleet officers I met treated me like dirt. I think part of me felt like I deserved it. At the Academy they teach you that the first duty of any officer is to tell the truth…Which is kind of funny since one of the most famous Starfleet Captain's of all time is James T. Kirk, who was known to embellish the truth to get out of some dangerous situations.  
  
Sometimes I think I would have been happier if I lived in the past. I always had a love for the Twentieth Century. My father always thought I was wasting my time by reading Twentieth Century novels and that I should spend all my time preparing for the academy. Of course, dear old Dad lived and breathed Starfleet. He thought that I should spend every waking moment preparing for Starfleet Academy.  
  
When I was a kid …it was never if you go to Starfleet…It was always when you go to the academy. I loved my sisters Kathleen and Moira but I was jealous of them. Neither of them were interested in a Starfleet career but my Dad was fine with that. I guess he figured that since I was his only son I had to be one to continue the family legacy and join Starfleet.  
  
I remember when I was really little my Grandma Eugenia use to tell me stories about her adventures in Starfleet. They sounded so exciting. I could never figure out why Grandma and my Dad left being Captains of starships to work at Starfleet command. I also use to love when my Uncle Cole visited. He was a pilot and he use to tell me fantastic stories about what it was like flying the Stargazer under the command of Captain Jean Luc Picard. It's kind of funny that when I was a senior at the academy I applied to be pilot the Enterprise, which was then under the command of Captain Picard. From the stories Uncle Cole told me, he made Picard sound like such a great Captain I really wanted to serve under him. But my Dad destroyed that dream by taking my name off the Enterprise list. He said it would look suspicious if an Admiral's son was put on the flagship of Starfleet right out of Starfleet Academy even if I would of earned it.  
  
I remember when I was little my Dad use to work late all the time and I tried desperately to stay up so he could read the me next chapter of Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea. I use to sit up on the couch holding my book padd and my favorite teddy bear and then wake up the next morning in my bed.  
  
When I was five I begged my father to let me fly the simulators at Starfleet Command. I had a couple of older friends who had parents in Starfleet who let them fly. Sometimes I wonder if that was the first mistake I made in my life. To me flying was a game but to my Dad it was something else. I guess he must of saw something special in me and from then on I would spent every weekend flying either on simulators or on space shuttles until I was old enough to enter the Academy.  
  
I can't believe I'm recording a personal log either. When I was eight my Dad told me that if I was old enough to fly shuttles I was old enough to get into the practice of recording a log. Starfleet officers were expected to keep both personal and professional logs. I think the last personal log I wrote was the night I decided I had to confess about Caldik Prime. It was about four months after the accident and I was in my quarters on the Copernicus. I thought I could keep the three people I killed…the three friends I killed out of my dreams if I went to bed exhausted. I used woman, drinking and working out in the gym to keep my friends out of my dreams. But after I came into contact with that Betazoid woman I couldn't keep the nightmares away.  
  
After seeing the ghosts of Charlie, Odile, and Bruno late at night in my quarters I knew I had to confess. After a trip to sickbay where they found nothing physically wrong with me I was send back to Starfleet Command where I finally confessed. I don't think I will ever forget the look on my father's face when I told him the truth. I never saw him look so angry. I thought he would really yell at me but instead he turned to me and said calmly, "I don't have a son," and walked out of the courtroom.  
  
I think that was worse. I wanted him to yell at me because I knew I deserved it. My Mom was there for my but I was too embarrassed to face her and my sisters so I took the next available shuttle out left town. I couldn't stay in San Francisco…it was a Starfleet town. After I left Sandrine I just wandered around for months. I spent me nights drinking and hustling pool and I spent my days sleeping off the effects of the liquor.  
  
After I while I ended up in Marseille, France and spend a lot of time at Sandrine's Sandrine whom I befriended during my semester there tried to help. She tried to get me piloting jobs but I was usually too drunk to fly whenever a perspective employer came to see me. Even she gave up on me and told me in her deep French accent, "Thomas…I can't stop you from drinking you life away…but I do not have to watch…find another place to go."  
  
The next day I met some Maquis crewmembers at another bar and they took me to meet Captain Chakotay. From the moment I saw Chakotay I knew he didn't like me…He was a former Starfleet officer but he resigned to help his people fight the Cardassians and I left in disgrace. But the Maquis were desperate for a good pilot so they hired me.  
  
I really hope we don't find them. I know Chakotay and his people think I was a Federation spy when I was caught on my first mission. They will never know I called for help and purposely led the Bradbury away from their ship…Hey if I really was a Federation spy I wouldn't of spent the last eleven months in a Federation Penal Colony. If they only knew how much I hated small enclosed places since I was accidentally locked in a closet as a kid. I spent too many nights pacing the floor of my cell…wishing I were anyplace but there.  
  
Part of me wants to run for the nearest shuttlebay and take a ship and just fly away from here. Just the thought of going back to New Zealand makes me sick to my stomach. But I'm scared that I will by caught and I will have to spend the next two weeks either with a monitoring anklet on my leg or locked in the brig. At least in my cabin I can pretend I'm not a prisoner in just a fancier cell.  
  
I just wish I could wear civilian clothes. This rankless uniform makes me feel so out of place. It's also a constant reminder of what my life could have been. I know Starfleet wasn't my first career choice but I have to admit I enjoyed flying for the Federation. I flew some of the most advanced shuttles and spaceships throughout my training and when I first saw Voyager through the shuttle windowsI would of given anything just to have a chance to fly a ship like Voyager. But I blew any chance of that when I lied about the accident.  
  
Maybe the next two weeks won't be so bad…That Ensign I met seemed nice. I don't think I ever met anyone as green as Harry Kim. I know I was never that green. The Admiral wouldn't let me…I had the education of a Starfleet Academy first year cadet by the time I started high school. Unfortunately I'm sure Harry won't want anything to do with me when he finds out about my past. I'm sure somebody like the Doctor or the first officer Commander Cavit would be happy to tell Harry to stay away from me.  
  
I guess I'll just have to make the best of this mission. Maybe if I do help them find Chakotay, Captain Janeway will speak at my parole hearing and I won't have to finish the rest of my eighteen- month sentence. Maybe then I will be able to start my life again. I have always been good at writing holoprograms…maybe I could look into that as a career.  
  
I better get to the mess hall and get something to eat. At least I won't have to eat prison food for the next two weeks. Maybe I'll order some tomato soup.  
  
End Log. 


End file.
